Wikianswers Return: The devil hates Geometry

I couldn't resist posting more of these because a) it's easy and b) they make me smile.

If you, by the way, know any answers to these questions be sure to let me know.

What was the average number of rooms in a hotel in the mid-1800s
(Just WHY would you need to know this and who the heck does?)

ID1626682895 asked What goes into space off of the sun
(Isn't that a question astronomers have pondered for centuries? The answer is, of course, Rainbows which makes as much sense as the question.)

What color is a bluish purple
(It's kind of purpley but with blue in it.)

What is the word for sailors overthrowing their captain and taking over the ship
(I can just imagine now, a group of rebel sailors on board a boat, huddled round a laptop asking this. "Ok, lads, go grab the Captain and tell him he has a ...Mut-tiny on his hands!"

How many hours in 121 minutes
(Come ooooonnnnn! It takes less brain power to work that out than it does to type it...doesn't it?)

If a guinea pig coughs is it bad
(Is there anything sadder than a guinea pig coughing?)

ID1204294227 asked How do yo say iam doing fine in italian and said it was the same as How do you say iam fine how are you 2 minutes ago

Current answer: You say, "I am fine, thank you. How are you?"

(Awesome)

Kh731 [0] wrote the first answer to Is it racist for a white person to put a scarf on their head 2 minutes ago

Current answer: not really

(Thank goodness I can stop burning all my scarves)

Friday silliness

Blogging is a funny old game. Sometimes I'll think up posts during the week and then dismiss them when I actually get the time to get here and post it. Other times I have 3 or 4 ideas when I'm at my computer and want to post them all at once, and on other occasions I'll just switch my blog brain off and forget about it for days at a time wondering why the heck I ever blogged in the first place.

It's Friday today and I find myself wanting to post two stupid things and one more thoughtful piece but I know that posting three at a time will empty the pool of blog posts in my head and they'll be nothing but a tumbleweed blowing about this webpage for a while.

So, I'll try and pace myself and just post a video of a cat today.

Dear Verizon,

Dear Verizon,

Please, please please stop showing your commercials for 3G coverage (with your annoying slogan of "There's a map for that") in West Virginia. Firstly, it's just plain misleading. Secondly, you see that big ole white space in the eastern part of the state? Yep, that's West Virginia. So please give it a rest.

Thanks,

Clickers.

Decisions, decisions

It's Friday which means Pizza night at my house but what a dilemma I have on my hands today...Papa John's AND Pizza Hut both offering any pizza, any crust, any topping for $10! Chris James, please tell me what to do!!

(P.s. don't tell me to get a Domino's instead because they closed the one near me just to later release a new recipe and taunt me personally).

A lot happened

Well, since my last blog post a lot has happened. We took Ms. Allclick's father to the emergency room and found out he needed a triple heart bypass last week. This then turned into a quadruple heart bypass while he was under the knife. He is doing well now and recovering slowly at home.

Going to the hospital reminded me of a few things. The first was that I really should take better care of my heart and, you know, exercise it once in a while. It's funny when people say "Remember, the heart is a muscle" and I'm thinking "well, I don't work out my other muscles so that really doesn't help much". But in the last few days I HAVE been actually working out so here's hoping I can keep it up.

The second thing I'm reminded when I go to a hospital is: I never want to be in a hospital. I never want to wear one of them gowns, have blood taken from me ever hour, take new pills every day, pee in a plastic container (when not on a long car journey), or any of the other hospitally things. Just remembering that should keep my healthy I hope.

Having seen the government run hospitals in England and seeing the For-profit hospitals here I'm really surprised at how crappy they are here. I expected to see shiny new wards with flat screen TV's and modern phones and thermostats that were not invented by Franklin, and robot nurses...and maybe, just maybe soda machines that actually accept wrinkled dollars. I guess all those things would trim the profit margin.

Ahh...that's better

Sick and knowing someone

Yer that's me right now. Fighting off a cold. Not the "Ted Bundy" kinda sick but it's stopped me from feeling like doing things like blogging, tidying and well everything outside of just sitting and eating bagfuls of Cadbury Mini-eggs.

Anyway, I thought I'd throw in another blog post about social skills because I'm fascinated by them and I'm one of those guys that won't just do something the same way over and over again just because it's always been done that way and so I like to examine why us humanoids do things the way we do, over and over again.

Today I'm intrigued by the concept of knowing another person. Not in the biblical sense, mind you, before those of you in the back of the room start snickering. I mean how much should you really know someone else? When it comes to partners we are basically expected to know everything. Where they grew up, who there idol is, what is the favourite type of ice-cream etc.. and in this situation knowing these things and remembering them doesn't freak them out. In fact it comforts and sometimes impresses them.

But let's say you meet a new person. They tell you a couple of things about themselves and then 3 months later you meet again. You say something like "Oh, and how is your dog doing now? And have you finished that class you were taking? Did you end up going to see Avatar in the end?" and you have probably weirded them out.

Those "rules" are pretty simple to follow. Where the line blurs is with friends who you are close to. I think this is probably more true for guys..when talking to both guy friends and female friends. If I suddenly told my friend Geoff I remember his shoe size, ice cream flavour and first pet name I'm certainly heading into weirded out territory. Equally I'm probably getting a restraining order against me if I approached a female friend and recalled what dress she wore to the prom and what the colour of her toothbrush is without the topic of conversation being about either of these things.

So, how much should you really know about a friend (and more importantly admit to remembering)? I think I can stick to these guidelines:

1) It depends on the friend
2) It depends what you know
3) If they ain't talking about it, don't bring it up.
4) Don't ask, don't tell.

More wikianswers

I just couldn't resist clicking "Recent Activity" and sharing some more questions that we are all dying to know the answer to such as:

Will you get high if you shoot suboxone?
(Ah, the considerate drug taker takes time out to check that he's not wasting his time.)

How much does 16 ounces weigh
(hmm...about 15 ounces but a bit more?)

What is happening to the earth forests
(I demand to know! Someone better own up!)

How much wood would a catnip joke troubles with water in the joke Which time would as you not ask him not to do I hard try to talk here in english sorry
(I hard try to understand in English also, sorry).

What year was Dick a dum dum by des oconnor released
(This one just made me laugh for so many reasons but couldn't the poster have just put this in the google search bar instead??)

Why is a tattoo permanent and suntan not
(I can just imagine this person holding a skull stencil on their arm outside on a hot day)

And finally...

How can you not ejaculate early
(Actual Answer:"When your drilling your girlfriend just pretend shes your mother")

Browsing

The Internet has such a wealth of information. I remember even just a few years ago it was often difficult to find answers to problems ranging from plumbing issues to car repair. Back in England I remember struggling particularly with a leaky faucet and I had to sign up to a forum and wait for plumbers to return my question. These days most questions I have about such things are already asked and answer, especially when it comes to video games or visa issues (not the mastercard rival...though probably that too). A website that is often awful at answering questions, however, is wikianswers. I never have any luck there and usually get a much better answer at Yahoo answers. I did find this awesome question though today on wikianswers. I can't wait to click on it and find out the answer...

What happens to a person who marries someone knowing that person is already married?

Let's find out!

If you see any other great questions being asked please share and we can all have a good chortle together!

Wolfman

Just before the second round of snow kicked in this evening we decided to pop out to get some air and catch "Wolfman" a Werewolf tale set in Olde England. Well, not that Olde but pretty old. It's actually a pretty scary film, with genuine scares; Not just the old trick of cranking up the volume to deafening levels whenever a door opens slightly or a bat farts or a butterfly flaps it's wings. It was actually pretty graphically bloody and gory so it was a real shame a dad decided to bring his two young boys in the theater to scar them for life.

Overall a fun scary romp. Best watched with the lights out.

Last Chance Harvey

We were in the mood for a movie last night and while my last DVD was on it's way to Netflix (which seems to take longer and longer these days) we decided to check out this Romantic umm comedy/drama from last year. It was free after all and I had a humidifier to put together.

It stars Dustin Hoffman as a yank heading off to London to attend his daughter's wedding and Emma Thompson as a lovely Brit with a perfect speaking voice for...getting people to answer surveys at airports, and speaking to her mother a lot on the phone.
Hoffman is down on his luck and while trying to cheer himself up in the airport bar runs into Emma Thompson who is also trying to raise her spirits from the seemingly boring and frustrating life she leads. It's a sweet moment as they talk and flirt like mature adults and the story continues from there, following them both over two days as they help each other see past their problems.

As Ms. Allclick made note of, it's a mature movie aimed at older audiences and a type of movie that doesn't get as much attention today as it should, due presumably to it's lack of CGI and jokes about drug taking, being naked, throwing up, or stealing Mike Tyson's tiger.

It was a movie that serves as a nice break from the last few I've seen (Trick R treat, Whiteout, Daybreakers) and certainly a good choice for valentines day.

Be prepared to perpetually ask "How tall is Dustin Hoffman again?".

Today's events

Courtesy of WSAZ.com here are today's events in our region:
Hope you like Zumba!

Lottery Scratch Card secrets revealed!

Yes folks, here it is! The biggest secret in the world of lottery scratch cards...

The Odds...are on the back!!!

Yes, that's right, on the back of the cards it tells you the odds of winning! Hehe!! Now we can all win!!

In case you didn't know there was some sarcasm in the above statements. It is true, however, that the odds are on there. It's also true that every gas station employee in a 5 mile area of my house has never noticed this.

A few days ago I went in to purchase some and as usual I was misunderstood...

Me:..and can I get some scratch cards please? Can you pick out the ones with the best odds for me?

Employee: Oh..no sir. I do not pick out lottery cards for someone else. I have a hard enough trouble choosing them for me. I will not pick out cards for you.

Me: No, no I mean look on the back at the odds and give me the cards with the best odds.

Employee: Oh. It tells you the odds?? (employee goes into a frantic search to look on the back of all the scratch cards).

In the end he turned out to be friendly and wished me good luck but obviously I upset him when he thought I asked him to use his luckyness to select cards for me.

Maybe he thought I'd sue.

A trip to Wal-mart in West Virginia...and more on why Wal-mart sucks

On a recent trip to Wal-mart I was struck by a couple of incidents and observations that even in the presence of a the gigantic, face-less, everywhere super mart itself could not persuade me I was anywhere but West Virginia.

The first was the fact that you barely know this Wal-mart actually exists. It's built right by the interstate but there is no large sign and you can't see the front. It's as if you have to just KNOW that it is there, you have to be an insider. Sometimes this seems to be the case in West Virginia for me. There is some information that isn't shared it's just stuff that is known by folks who have lived here all their lives. Like drugs in Huntington come from Michigan...or is it Florida? And if you are going to criticize Coal or Hunting you better shout it from the other side of the Ohio river.

The second was on the way out of Wal-mart when the greeter stopped us on the way out.

"Hey, I need to see your receipt for that trash can. Oh, and here have this chicken."

And she had handed us a cooked, Deli, rotisserie chicken. They must have just closed and we happened to be the next folks along. I'm not sure if that is official Wal-mart policy but it sure made me glad to be in West Virginia.

--------------

On another note, did I mention Wal-mart sucks? They don't have the brand of chips I like that EVERY OTHER STORE HAS, they didn't have the movie I wanted at their red box, they have stopped selling frozen sausage rolls that I love, they open enough registers to ensure that every customer must wait 25 minutes in line, their lights hurt my eyes, the carts only have two wheels, they replaced nearly everything with their own brand products (which I don't have coupons for) ,they stopped selling sirloin ground beef (tell me about it!) and they obviously spent about 2 cents on the credit card scanning devices...phew!

I'm off to Kroger.

Movie round-up and a note on movie recommendations

I've watched a fair few movies recently and so thought i'd do a little round-up on them in case anyone feels like checking them out. It's odd thinking that anyone would go to see one of these films based on my recommendation based on the fact that I rarely accept other people's recommendations (Although I do listen to most of the people who read this blog) .

What amuses me sometimes is when friends or family recommend a movie that looks absolutely awful and one in which I probably laughed at during the previews at the very notion of me going to see the film. Then I wonder "do you not know me at all??? What the frig are you smoking over there?? I don't HAVE to see "Leap Year", nor will I, and I especially won't waste $20 down at the movie theater for it." It is always the same people who recommend an awful movie that insist I see it at the cinema AND insist I will love it.

That being said here are my thoughts on a few recent movies:


Book of Eli: Worth watching if you like end of the world type movies and enjoying watching Denzel Washington kick ass. Straight forward story and you get what you expect.

Up: Another great but not memorable movie from Pixar. Tells a great story about an old man trying to live up to the promise he made his wife years ago. Very touching but sacrifices laughter for sentiment.
Gamer: Just averageness really. Michael C Hall is great in it but severely underused which is a real shame. Especially as the film is a little confusing, shallow and the plot is pushed forward by folks just basically explaining it word for word. If you like Gerard Butler then pick it up. Otherwise rent "Death Race" instead.

Some Movies I will probably see very soon: Desperate Measures, Extract.

Movies I won't be seeing so don't tell me to see them: Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, It's Complicated.

Just a picture

This made me smile today through a banging Friday headache.

Goodbye Coco

Farewell Coco. We hardly knew thee.

Couldn't this all have been prevented if Leno simply said "Ok, my 10pm show kinda sucked, I'm heading back to my garage to play with my cars." Instead of saying "Tonight Show? Sure I'll take that back, whose that O'Brially fellow again?".

So, what is next for Conan? Fox at 11pm? According to his agreement with NBC he won't be able to do a show again until September. I wonder if that will exclude any online productions. I'd love to see him team up with Will Ferrell on Funnyordie.com where he can do the comedy he wants rather than the toned down version he resorted to or was forced to do on the Tonight Show.

Tom Hanks is on tonight I think and Will Ferrell tomorrow, should be good.

Email and the economy

The economy is bad. I know this first hand thanks to a little pre-Christmas day, post-Christmas shop incident in which I was robbed. Yes, robbed not for my wallet, but for my coupon book.

Zing! Take that economy and a big thank you to Leno's joke book, found in a dumpster outside of the NBC studios.

But seriously, I did accidentally leave my coupon folder (yes, I have a coupon folder and no I'm not over the age of 65) after a big Christmas spending spree at Kroger, in my trolley..umm buggy. I realized a few hours later and returned to the store only to discover it was gone and till this day never to be seen again. Apparently someone must love coupons more than their soul. It's in the commandments people.

Anyway, speaking of buggys why do they only have two wheels that move?? Back in England all four wheels move allowing one to move side-ways if say a rather large teenager on a motorized Wal-mart scooter wants to zoom past you in the busy snack aisle to get that last bag of cheesy Doritos. I constantly find myself dragging the buggy sideways and pulling my shoulder out of it's socket. I must invent the four wheeled buggy and retire.

While I'm complaining about things I may as well have a gripe about getting back to work. If you read my blog before Christmas I was kinda burnt out. After Thanksgiving I found it hard to really fire on all cylinders. Right now I'm feeling pretty darn good though and very positive about my job and getting everything done that I need to and then some. But what often chips away at my shield of 2010 positivism are them folk that ignore emails.I'm not talking about friends who you send an email asking about the weather, the pets and the kids. I'm talking about those important work emails that actually require a response. They actually sometimes even say that in the email: "I AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE" or "PLEASE RESPOND". Yet there IS no reply and in the end I'm forced to call someone or just bring it up in person when I see them which is not what I wanted to do or had time to do which is why I sent the flipping email in the first place. It really does tick me off.

Second on my email peeves (amongst many others) are those folk who reply to an individual email you have sent BUT copy in everyone and their dog and rather than answer the questions in your email write bold statements saying how great they are and declaring information and achievements as if they have had a spontaneous epiphany rather than just replying to the original email to you.

It usually goes something like this:

"Everyone,

I completed the TPS reports late on Friday. It was another all-nighter for me. It wouldn't have been so bad but I had such an early start that morning with meetings (when I closed the big account, go me!!) and then I worked through the weekend, 56 hours straight while hanging upside down, testicles in a vice, and one eye shut.

Dave"

Email was invented round about 1971. Maybe by 2071 we will have figured out the etiquette.

The Golden Globes

In case you didn't see it or hear it or read it Avatar won best Drama at the golden globes. I yawned and complained that the Hurt Locker didn't win as it really did deserve it.

I was very glad to see Michael C Hall pick up the award for best actor in a TV series. After being nominated 4 years running it's about time he was recognized. I'm shoulder deep into season 3 right now (so don't tell me about season 4 and how good John Lithgow is please!) and just love the show.

Overall an entertaining evening and dare I say it, had more kick to it than the Oscars did last year.

Avatar: All Flash, no bang

Well, I braved a cold evening last night with lady Allclick and went to see the 10pm showing of Avatar. There isn't much more to add to the multiple reviews about this movie except to say that I wasn't wowed. According to other reviewers that must be because I came with the wrong expectations. I think that it's because James Cameron forgot to actually write an original story. The movie is visually amazing and the 3D is supercool but I wanted more from a movie with such hype. I wanted at least a sub-plot or twist or surprise or something unconventional . Instead we are given a plot which unfolds exactly as you would expect. Still at least you can enjoy the visuals.