A brief history of violence, by me against ants

As another wet summer rolls around so do summertime traditions such as cooking out, getting sun burned and killing plenty-o-ants. Last year we were plagued by them and so I had many opportunities to try lots of different solutions found on the inter-web. Let me just say this: Many of them are all sitting around right now with their pants on fire.

Some people suggested strong smelling spices. This lead to a rather red looking counter top with ants seemingly rolling around and giggling in it. I tried several different cleaning sprays, some of which would kill the ant instantly, others seemed to do nothing at all except bath them. I used white vinegar everywhere until my house smelled like a cheap seaside chip shop (the best kind IMHO) and this probably worked the best. But still they would come back...and in greater numbers. I also tried just squishing the heck out of them but I really hate to do that (although, after three or four days of it it becomes easier).

Eventually I used a Terro product outside and that seemed to do the trick. Mostly. I wasn't entirely convinced and had to also take care of some ant hills with hot boiling water and a can of raid.

So, this year we get ants in our entryway. I'm not entirely sure why they target us but my guess is that folks like to throw trash up against the side of our house which then invites the little buggers to set up shop and invade the house. Anyway, so I'm down on my knees squishing ants and spraying white vinegar and not having much success. I decide I'm going to have to go buy some ant baits.

I head off to ACE to get the Terro things I did last year (they were outdoor pots of Ant liquid bait) but they had completely sold out. So, I trot off to Walmart (You can see how desperate I was) and they too were out of Terro products so instead I opt for Amdro (a product which is difficult to find even on the mighty google). Walmart had it tucked away in the gardening products section of the store rather than the handy Ant and bug control section they set up near the laundry products (that's how Walmart gets you to buy crap stuff it wants you to buy!). I choose a bait that you can place indoor or outdoor (because of our cat, Cooper) and I chose to put 4 outside around the house. Next thing I know, no more ants! It worked like a charm.

The moral of this story is: Walmart always gets your money.

Social woes: Is it me?

Being a foreigner in a different country can be weird and confusing sometimes. When you visit another country on vacation it's easy to start assuming things. Like all Brits have a cockney accent, or all New Yorkers say "Forgetaboutit" in every sentence, or that France really smells, but these observations are often based on a brief snapshot. When you are in a different country for a longer period of time you soon learn that some things are different and some thing appear different at first but are really the same. OR you learn that some things are this way in WV but not the whole USA and vice versa.

Even after 3 and half years, though, I still struggle with some aspects, especially socially, and often times I'm left wondering if it's just me as a person or me as a foreigner. This weeks particular social woe is the fact that I seem to suck at telling stories. Even interesting stories. Twice this week I have attempted to tell a story. One about my heroic efforts in getting rid of ants in the house and the second was about Barnaby. I was in a one on one situation both times so I had their complete attention. It was two separate people. It was my turn in the conversation. Yet, when I began "Well, we started getting ants in our entryway. A few times during the week I was up early squishing them but then I found this great product...." (or something along those lines) I was interrupted. Not once or twice but maybe 5 or 6 times I would get interrupted and drag out an otherwise pretty short but helpful/interesting story.

I still can't work out where I was going wrong. Perhaps it was my subject matter. I think what makes things worse is I have a really difficult time of knowing when someone is about to stop speaking. This means I often talk over someone or if it's someone who doesn't stop talking I can barely get a word in edge ways. It's tough when I am just speaking one on one but it becomes a nightmare when speaking in a small group and everyone else seems to just know when to say this piece. This often leads to a perception that I am quiet or shy where in fact I usually have a lot to say I just wait for the right time or wait until spoken to.

So, I'm looking for some suggestions. Perhaps it just takes practice and I need to work on my story telling. Or perhaps I need better subjects. I've noticed that sometimes people will embellish details which I don't tend to do intentionally (unless I say "Man, that bridge was a million miles high!") so maybe I'll try that...

"So, there I was...a knife clenched between my teeth, leaning over the deadly amazonian fire ants. Sweat dripping off my brow as I prepared for the kill"