Search This Blog

17 February, 2009

An Englishman in West Virginia

On the rare occasion that I speak to a stranger for more than a few moments I usually do not have any problems. Small talk seems to be universal no matter what accent. There have been those special moments in which what I'm trying to convey is just lost in translation and I wanted to share a few highlights while I was thinking about it.

1. Every time I order at the drive-thru at Tudors. Here is a real life example:
"Dot-tea, please."
"A Dot...Tea biscuit."
"A BLT?"
"Oh a dau-tey."

2. Ordering water. Again, a true story:
"A bot-tal of warter please"
(confused look from the server)
"Erm, would you like Coleslaw with that?"
(Even more confused look from me)
"Um, no thanks. Just the warter"

3. Trying to tell Hoyt I wanted to see Paul Blart: Mall cop
"I want to see Paul Blart: Mool cop"
"Which movie?"
"Mool cop"
"Mool cop? With Kevin James."
"Oh... Maul Cawp"

That makes me think. "Maul Cop" could be a great horror sequel.

Crap list: update

Crap list additional:

Hallmark - For the worse valentines day commercial. The one where the sweet, handmade gestures of the kid's parents (like cutting the sandwiches into a heart shape) are viewed as inferior to the vastly expensive Hannah Montana valentines day card with recordable sound.

User Fees - Paying a fee to work? What kinda topsy-turvy world is this? It is especially strange that the fee is the same for everyone. Mr CEO pays $3.00 and Fred the cleaner pays $3.00. Doesn't really seem fair to me.

Live Nation - For charging a 33% "ticket fee" for....selling you a ticket. It wouldn't be so bad if there was any other choice but guess what? Their biggest rival just merged with them (ticketmaster) and between them actually own 200 of the biggest venues for music.

Hot list additional:

Bamboo and bamboo products.


13 February, 2009

Cheese-topped tilapia

I'm not much of a chef but I don't mind trying out a new recipe every now and then and here's one I tried recently that I thought the Evil Twin's Wife and Chris James might get a kick out of. It's pretty simple (hence why I was able to cook it).

You need:

1/4 cup of grated Parmesan cheese (yum!)
2 tbsp. butter at room temp.
1 1/2 tbsp of plain yogurt (or Mayo *gags*)
1 tbsp lemon juice (although I didn't use this it would probably add to the flavour)
1/2 tsp dried basil
1/8 tsp. black pepper
1/8 tsp salt
oh and 1 bag of Tilapia Fillets

You need the broiler for this one, so fire it up. Then get a baking sheet ready with aluminium foil and then spray it with cooking spray. Next, get a bowl and mix the cheese, butter, yogurt lemon juice and the seasonings. I used extra cheese. Put the fish on the baking sheet and broil for 3 mins, then turn them over and broil for another 3 mins. Remove them from the oven and put the cheese mixture on and then put back into the oven to broil for 2 more minutes. Mmm good.

Putting on the cheese mixture can be a little tricky cause it likes to melt with the heat of the fish and the above amounts doesn't leave you with very much mixture per fish. So, you may want to increase your amounts of cheese and yogurt and seasonings so you have plenty of cheese coating.


12 February, 2009

Power Out

Last night the power went out. It's not the first time it's happened to me but probably the longest time that I've ever experienced and certainly the earliest in the day that I remember the power going out. It starts off being a bit of an adventure. Laughing at suggestions to do things like "Let's just watch a DVD till the power comes back on" or flicking the light switch still every time you enter a dark room. After about an hour and a half I was freaking out. It's funny how many things we depend on for power and these things looked somehow pathetic without power. The ceiling fan, television, laptop, all just eye-sores if they can't function. Just useless pieces of metal and plastic.
The power eventually came back on around 4am and I count myself very lucky as I know there are thousands still without power today.

09 February, 2009

Securing us from ourselves

Have you even seen "I, Robot"? The Will Smith movie set in the future where everyone has a robot and surprise! things get screwed up. Totally Sci-fi fantasy, right? Well, I think we are actually closer to the future that it might seem. I'm not talking about Robots here (unfortunately) as the technology just still isn't there (unless Japan is secretly hiding this fact from us), but if you watch the movie, (SPOILER!!!!!) the role of "protectors of humans" that the robots take on, result in the ultimate consequence. Protecting humans from themselves as we aren't taking care of ourselves and it is this consequence that we are inching towards. Beginning with Internet and banking security.

The number of logins and passwords now needed in the average person's life, online, is just growing out of control. I swear I'm buying a frigging retina scanner or thumbprint reader because I'm just fed up with it. Because there are so many and each have different requirements I can never use the same password or login, or have to change my password every tenth new moon and so I've been locked out of bank accounts for days "for my own security". I've had to call and answer a thousand security questions, give my address, age, and shoe size and waste time just to reset my password. Now, I don't want anyone getting at my money (hey, I need that $12 for Hussan's) but I do want to have access to it myself. It's my money afterall. There is one bank right now that they are insisting I walk into the branch in person just to verify it's me. Hang on, bank, all those times I called you and logged on online you were happy knowing that I was umm me but now I have to walk in? What happened?

I can understand banks having the intensive security. Especially as they will have to pay for it if someone does start spending your money. They could at least only lock down the account when something unusual happens, say, all my money is transferred out to a strange account. However, I can't understand when I am asked a barrage of security questions to order a Papa John's or gourmet popcorn, or mail order bride. These sites don't even have access to my credit card details and so the worse that can happen is someone knows I enjoy caramel and chocolate and plenty of cheese on my deep pans.

The system is beginning to secure us from ourselves and it won't be long before you'll have to give DNA samples even down at Kroger. Can't have anyone else getting those Kroger rewards points, can we?

07 February, 2009


That's right folks, this is post 301. Seems like only yesterday I was writing post 1. Seems apt then that I use this post to discuss blogging and bloggers.

Being a blogger, if you squint, look through shaded glasses, a mirror and the reflection of a bald man's head, is a bit like being a super-hero. You have a secret identity and alter-ego and occasionally people may think you are doing some good. For some, you may even occasionally also wear skin tight outfits and your underpants on the outside. It is somewhat of a surreal experience, then, for the blogger to meet other bloggers and cast anonymity aside. Thankfully, it went nothing like the first meeting of the minutemen, but felt strangely similiar.

It was a lot of fun as I thought it would be and the best part of it is being able to put a voice to a blog. Not just an accent but a specific way of talking which reveals the writers use of and choice of humour, their approach to writing and even the rhythm of how they are writing. It really helps a lot to hear a voice. Especially as I sure as heck wouldn't want to look at them for long ;-)

On a separate note check this blogs if you get the chance:

Smoking in Putnam County

Yes, here comes another anti-smoking rant. If you can't stand the stench of it go outside ;-)

Reading through the local rag I was disheartened by new news stories that almost seemed to push to the dark dusty corner of the paper. One was that Blinko glass is in trouble. The gas has been switched off and hence the furnace is no longer burning. The 100 year old business looks to be doomed although the viewing gallery is still open I believe. Sad times. Once Blinko has gone, my stretch of the interstate will simply have a blank space under "Attractions".
The other piece of disappointing news was that hotels and motels are now re-allowed to have smoking rooms. It feels like a huge step backwards for the county. What will happen next? No new fangled drugs in the hospitals, like Penicillin. Men will have to start wearing hats all the time and women will be refused jobs. The argument is that the rooms become "private property" and so the occupants should be able to treat them like such. Smokers, you have the entire great-outdoors to smoke in. Look out your windows. There's lots of it out there. That's your "private property" right there. I mean who is actually staying in these places who is even from the county? I mean someone has obviously fought for this "rights" but will they be the ones staying in the hotels? Probably not. I look forward to a complete and total smoking ban (not a total-smoking ban) for the state and country so I can FINALLY get some clean air in my $20 motel room.

Christian Bale: In his defence

If you have turned on your pseudo news recently you may have heard the story of Christian Bale and his angry outburst at a "colleague" on the set of the new Terminator movie. The whole thing happened some months back when the film was actually being shot and involved someone walking around during an important scene and obviously putting off the Dark Knight. It don't really see this as much of a story so perhaps it is an intentionally leak to promote the film early or just to get the bloggers talking and give "Showbiz tonight" something to talk about. Maybe it was simply "leaked" to show just how awful the media is these days (Exhibit A: the headline "Chrisitian Bale's Blowup Proves Actor's Anger Problem" from ABC news.) Proves he has an anger problem?? It sounds a bit like arguments I would use about twenty years ago on the playground.

From what I know about Bale, I know that he is a very serious, method actor. He totally immerses himself in his roles whether it's mastering regional dialects or losing excessive weight and so it doesn't really surprise me that he might become a little niffed when someone is distracting him during "work time". It's not as if he is hating on people, picking up hookers, or smoking illegal drugs.

02 February, 2009

A proposal for the new stimulus plan

After braving Wal-mart yesterday around 4:00pm I was struck with a fantastic idea for the new stimulus plan. We should institute MORE Superbowls! No doubt everyone I saw yesterday was buying more and spending more than they should right now, but no-one cared because it was for the Superbowl. This one day probably help give the economy a little nudge, right? So, more Superbowls means more nudges. It makes perfect sense. We could maybe squeeze two or three Superbowls out of football before we look to other events. Perhaps a Superbowl of beer pong for the college folk or the Ballet Superbowl to get the money out of those fat cats wallets. Whatever the event, America wins!