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04 December, 2010

How to start a hoax

I have finally figured out the secret to how hoaxes start...let's take a look...

First, think of a belief you have that you want everyone else to have.
Second, Look for evidence of this belief.
Third, when you find that there is no evidence or barely any decide it's time to make some up/misinterpret other evidence on purpose.

The best way to do this is to think of something that really scares people such as this word list:
Rabies, germs, Deficit, criminals with guns/having sex/voting, foreigners, New Jersey, Socialists, Michael Myers.... Mike Myers...

and then connect that really scary thing to a current piece of legislation/new law/thing you once heard someone say on the telly/Fox News story.

Next step think of a catchy gimicky soundbite like: "He's not one of us!" or "New law makes it illegal to eat food!" or "Government now must sign off before you wipe your ass! And it has to be on government approved toilet paper!" or you can take the easy way out and just decry vague sentiments of how "America is changing for the worst/being flushed down the toilet/being screwed up into a tight paper ball and launched across a busy work environment into a steel trash can/where is my America???"

Once that is complete, go forth and spread the word! It really helps if it's a site that allows comments because then you can personally answer ALL the comments. You can support those that comment about how great you are and awesome for realizing the "truth" and the state that anyone who disagrees with you is "stupid", "delusional", and "brainwashed".

After degrading them you have therefore made what they say unimportant and therefore can't possibly be true! Great job!

For extra credit, you can also make a point, when people complain, of saying things like "You do know that is incredibly biased to the left/the right/the middle/big business/the government." or "You do know that all your "facts" are unbelievable because I don't like them". That way, you have instantly stopped others from actually checking into your hoax! Kudos to you!

Before I finish, I would like to say that this post couldn't have been made possible without this gem:

So, thank you RachellRobinson...keep up the good work, star pupil of mine!

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