Conversations with a "real person"

Ah "Customer support" my arch-Nemesis. Sometimes you are good to me, sometimes you just plain suck. I've had both this week. An on-going issue with Blockbuster total-access was finally cleared up after getting to speak to a "real person" (my thanks to Redzeppelin). Apparently, the online customer support (which the website promotes intensely) does not have the authority to make any "account changes"! I didn't see that written anywhere on the website. Needless to say the bare minimum was done; a refund and an apology and not really much else to ensure I stay with total-crapcess.
My second run-in with "Customer Support" was with Fed-Ex today. They actually have their customer helpline on their website, bravo! And I was not held in a queue on the phone. After a few automated messages I was straight through to a person. Unfortunately, I think that we had some difficulties in communication what with my British accent, and her Spanish/Portuguese accent (sorry - I can't define it any more than that!). It almost made me flash back to the same difficulties I had with a Homeland security guard, but that's another story.

Allclick: "Yes, I wish to report that I scheduled a package for collection, and no-one came in to collect it"
Fed-Ex: "O.K. can i have the pick-up reference number?"
Allclick: "Well all I have is a tracking number....it wasn't picked up so I don't have that."
Fed-Ex: "I need the pick-up reference number to check on your pick-up, sir"
Allclick: "The package is right here next to me. It says "tracking number". I have an email it also just says "tracking number" (believe it or not, I'm not being sarcastic at this point! :-) )
Fed-Ex: "As your package has not been picked up the tracking number will not help me."
Allclick: "It's not helping me much either."

And so on... eventually it turned out that all she needed was my zip code..then my address...name, dimensions of the package...so in fact I had to RE-schedule a delivery. I received a slight apology and asked how I would be paying for this. If only Fed-Ex operated some sort of "tipping" system. Speaking of which, do I need to tip the guy if when he shows up?

Blockbuster or Block Bust-ya

Well no-one really wants to hear about all the problems I've had with Blockbuster do they? All about how I've using Total Access and every single month it seems as if my dollar is suddenly worth less. All about how whenever you email them a complaint, it's responded to by a robot that doesn't even address the question you asked. All about how it takes almost forever for a turn around on the DVD's. No-one really wants to hear that. But I will emphasize the second aspect about the email complaints. It is beginning to become a common problem for me. You sign up for a service online and then when you have an issue you spend 10 minutes looking for contact details only to find a form online that you need to fill in to state your problem. You instantly receive an email " Thank you for submitting your comment, will be get back to you shortly" hmm ok what does that mean then? Then a couple of days later you receive something along the lines of:

"Dear First_name (yes, many times it does actually say this!)

Thank you for your recent comment. I am sorry (sure!) that you have had any difficulties with our service. We aim to blah blah. Your issue is that you should be paying us more for a service that will get progressively crappier and more expensive over time. I hope that solves your current problem, first_name.

Yours Sincerely,

Joe Bloggs"

It is obvious that it's a computer generated response. Most of the time it doesn't even remotely answer the question or will only answer one part of it, and usually it has first_name or Customer_107321 because the program screwed up. But they still stick on a name at the end (as if you can call them and ask to speak to the person) and make it seem like it's a specific response to your problem. If anyone has a solution to these computer generated emails please flow forth thy comments.