A trip to Wal-mart in West Virginia...and more on why Wal-mart sucks

On a recent trip to Wal-mart I was struck by a couple of incidents and observations that even in the presence of a the gigantic, face-less, everywhere super mart itself could not persuade me I was anywhere but West Virginia.

The first was the fact that you barely know this Wal-mart actually exists. It's built right by the interstate but there is no large sign and you can't see the front. It's as if you have to just KNOW that it is there, you have to be an insider. Sometimes this seems to be the case in West Virginia for me. There is some information that isn't shared it's just stuff that is known by folks who have lived here all their lives. Like drugs in Huntington come from Michigan...or is it Florida? And if you are going to criticize Coal or Hunting you better shout it from the other side of the Ohio river.

The second was on the way out of Wal-mart when the greeter stopped us on the way out.

"Hey, I need to see your receipt for that trash can. Oh, and here have this chicken."

And she had handed us a cooked, Deli, rotisserie chicken. They must have just closed and we happened to be the next folks along. I'm not sure if that is official Wal-mart policy but it sure made me glad to be in West Virginia.

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On another note, did I mention Wal-mart sucks? They don't have the brand of chips I like that EVERY OTHER STORE HAS, they didn't have the movie I wanted at their red box, they have stopped selling frozen sausage rolls that I love, they open enough registers to ensure that every customer must wait 25 minutes in line, their lights hurt my eyes, the carts only have two wheels, they replaced nearly everything with their own brand products (which I don't have coupons for) ,they stopped selling sirloin ground beef (tell me about it!) and they obviously spent about 2 cents on the credit card scanning devices...phew!

I'm off to Kroger.

Movie round-up and a note on movie recommendations

I've watched a fair few movies recently and so thought i'd do a little round-up on them in case anyone feels like checking them out. It's odd thinking that anyone would go to see one of these films based on my recommendation based on the fact that I rarely accept other people's recommendations (Although I do listen to most of the people who read this blog) .

What amuses me sometimes is when friends or family recommend a movie that looks absolutely awful and one in which I probably laughed at during the previews at the very notion of me going to see the film. Then I wonder "do you not know me at all??? What the frig are you smoking over there?? I don't HAVE to see "Leap Year", nor will I, and I especially won't waste $20 down at the movie theater for it." It is always the same people who recommend an awful movie that insist I see it at the cinema AND insist I will love it.

That being said here are my thoughts on a few recent movies:


Book of Eli: Worth watching if you like end of the world type movies and enjoying watching Denzel Washington kick ass. Straight forward story and you get what you expect.

Up: Another great but not memorable movie from Pixar. Tells a great story about an old man trying to live up to the promise he made his wife years ago. Very touching but sacrifices laughter for sentiment.
Gamer: Just averageness really. Michael C Hall is great in it but severely underused which is a real shame. Especially as the film is a little confusing, shallow and the plot is pushed forward by folks just basically explaining it word for word. If you like Gerard Butler then pick it up. Otherwise rent "Death Race" instead.

Some Movies I will probably see very soon: Desperate Measures, Extract.

Movies I won't be seeing so don't tell me to see them: Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, It's Complicated.

Just a picture

This made me smile today through a banging Friday headache.

Goodbye Coco

Farewell Coco. We hardly knew thee.

Couldn't this all have been prevented if Leno simply said "Ok, my 10pm show kinda sucked, I'm heading back to my garage to play with my cars." Instead of saying "Tonight Show? Sure I'll take that back, whose that O'Brially fellow again?".

So, what is next for Conan? Fox at 11pm? According to his agreement with NBC he won't be able to do a show again until September. I wonder if that will exclude any online productions. I'd love to see him team up with Will Ferrell on Funnyordie.com where he can do the comedy he wants rather than the toned down version he resorted to or was forced to do on the Tonight Show.

Tom Hanks is on tonight I think and Will Ferrell tomorrow, should be good.

Email and the economy

The economy is bad. I know this first hand thanks to a little pre-Christmas day, post-Christmas shop incident in which I was robbed. Yes, robbed not for my wallet, but for my coupon book.

Zing! Take that economy and a big thank you to Leno's joke book, found in a dumpster outside of the NBC studios.

But seriously, I did accidentally leave my coupon folder (yes, I have a coupon folder and no I'm not over the age of 65) after a big Christmas spending spree at Kroger, in my trolley..umm buggy. I realized a few hours later and returned to the store only to discover it was gone and till this day never to be seen again. Apparently someone must love coupons more than their soul. It's in the commandments people.

Anyway, speaking of buggys why do they only have two wheels that move?? Back in England all four wheels move allowing one to move side-ways if say a rather large teenager on a motorized Wal-mart scooter wants to zoom past you in the busy snack aisle to get that last bag of cheesy Doritos. I constantly find myself dragging the buggy sideways and pulling my shoulder out of it's socket. I must invent the four wheeled buggy and retire.

While I'm complaining about things I may as well have a gripe about getting back to work. If you read my blog before Christmas I was kinda burnt out. After Thanksgiving I found it hard to really fire on all cylinders. Right now I'm feeling pretty darn good though and very positive about my job and getting everything done that I need to and then some. But what often chips away at my shield of 2010 positivism are them folk that ignore emails.I'm not talking about friends who you send an email asking about the weather, the pets and the kids. I'm talking about those important work emails that actually require a response. They actually sometimes even say that in the email: "I AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE" or "PLEASE RESPOND". Yet there IS no reply and in the end I'm forced to call someone or just bring it up in person when I see them which is not what I wanted to do or had time to do which is why I sent the flipping email in the first place. It really does tick me off.

Second on my email peeves (amongst many others) are those folk who reply to an individual email you have sent BUT copy in everyone and their dog and rather than answer the questions in your email write bold statements saying how great they are and declaring information and achievements as if they have had a spontaneous epiphany rather than just replying to the original email to you.

It usually goes something like this:

"Everyone,

I completed the TPS reports late on Friday. It was another all-nighter for me. It wouldn't have been so bad but I had such an early start that morning with meetings (when I closed the big account, go me!!) and then I worked through the weekend, 56 hours straight while hanging upside down, testicles in a vice, and one eye shut.

Dave"

Email was invented round about 1971. Maybe by 2071 we will have figured out the etiquette.

The Golden Globes

In case you didn't see it or hear it or read it Avatar won best Drama at the golden globes. I yawned and complained that the Hurt Locker didn't win as it really did deserve it.

I was very glad to see Michael C Hall pick up the award for best actor in a TV series. After being nominated 4 years running it's about time he was recognized. I'm shoulder deep into season 3 right now (so don't tell me about season 4 and how good John Lithgow is please!) and just love the show.

Overall an entertaining evening and dare I say it, had more kick to it than the Oscars did last year.

Avatar: All Flash, no bang

Well, I braved a cold evening last night with lady Allclick and went to see the 10pm showing of Avatar. There isn't much more to add to the multiple reviews about this movie except to say that I wasn't wowed. According to other reviewers that must be because I came with the wrong expectations. I think that it's because James Cameron forgot to actually write an original story. The movie is visually amazing and the 3D is supercool but I wanted more from a movie with such hype. I wanted at least a sub-plot or twist or surprise or something unconventional . Instead we are given a plot which unfolds exactly as you would expect. Still at least you can enjoy the visuals.

Health care reform - Further thoughts

After reading an article about the senate voting to end debate on the health care bill I thought I would take a looksy at the comment section. These days there is no place other to go for lively ummm debate...than the comment section on any news website about the health care bill and I wasn't disappointed here. I think I can sum up people's overall attitudes and feelings. I mean, their REAL feelings behind all the "Obamacare" "Socialism", "Big Government", "working for insurance companies", masks.

The first I entitle "Wah!". As in "Wah! I don't like change! It's big and scary and I don't know what will happen to all the things that I have now which may be good or bad but I least I know how the system works! Wah!!". I get that vibe from a lot of comments whether it's conservatives or liberals and they usually say something like "why don't we take more time to discuss this?" or "we could do THIS instead" or my personal favourite is "look at all those other countries who tried to improve health care people are still getting sick there/waiting in long lines/committing acts of terrorism".

The second attitude I call "Bah!". As in "Bah! This means more free health care and hand outs for those moochers. All THOSE people who won't get a job and work hard for a living and earn their right to health care. Bah!". I actually say one comment who suggested that health care isn't a right, so I suppose the government should stop helping the poor, the elderly, the uninsured when they are sick, injured or dying and we should perhaps sweep them all off to Canada? But not on the tax payers money now.

Hopefully as the bill gets passed and in 2014 or whenever the laws kick in people will be more at ease with the change and perhaps a little more willing to help their fellow man.

Hey Mr. Snowman

Yes, I built a snowman.

I just couldn't resist. It got to be about 4pm yesterday and it was barely snowing but there was plenty of untouched, thick deep snow for me to get my hands on so I thought what the heck. It's been years since I've ever seen that much snow so why not get outside, throw a snowball or two, get some exercise and build me a snowman. Ms. Allclick even created some lips and eyes to give it just that extra piece of personality. It probably took me about an hour to build the whole thing.

Unfortunately, it only took about 5 minutes for some punk kids to knock the head right off. Looks like they tried to put the boot in on the body too but alas his solid ice body must have proven too challenging. Thankfully, there is still a bunch of nice icey snow around and so, for now, he new head is back on his shoulders. Here's hoping any more punks stay away.

Roy Wood and Wizzard - I wish it could be Christmas everyday

A great song that I just never hear over here so I felt like sharing!

'Tis the Season

For some strange reason I decided to brave driving to corridor G. How delighted I was to see the bumper to bumper traffic awaiting me on the other side of the road.

"Hopefully you will be gone when I'm going through there." I naively cried out at the traffic. Needless to say I had the last laugh it wasn't.

I soldiered on with slightly damper spirits into Pet Smart to pick up a few provisions for Barnaby and Cooper and a couple of stocking fillers. As I was at the register I noticed I was signing the receipt with a Quickclick pen which I had been looking for for aggggeesss. (Apparently Walgreens has them but the one near me is built but teasingly not open yet.)

I asked the guy at the register where he had obtained such a pen of beauty from. He said "Oh, I got 8 for a dollar at the dollar tree". I swear I heard "The Hallelujah Chorus" blast out at the exact same time. And then he said "here, take this one".I gladly accepted and wished him a very merry Christmas.

'Tis the season for giving and what better than receiving a gift from a complete stranger, completely unexpectedly and it was something I wanted! Perfect.

I like to think I passed this on in two ways. One, I made a small donation to help homeless pets and two, at Fruth later than afternoon I decided to buy a gift from the gift tree that goes towards elderly people who wouldn't otherwise be getting gifts this Christmas. Let's hope "Steve" at Fruth continues the cycle.

Checked out till Christmas

Is it just because I'm not used to Thanksgiving "holiday" or does it always completely sap any energy left for working? It's Sunday evening now after the holiday and I'm frankly just ready to put my feet up...or rather keep my feet up till Christmas and maybe intersperse that with a few trips to CV for some stocking stuffers. There is at least full three weeks of work to get through so I need to buck it up and get my head down and hopefully I'll find the strength and determination as my alarm springs into life tomorrow morning.

In the meantime "Sunday Evening Allclick" will keep his feet up and let "Monday Morning Allclick" deal with the motivation problem.

Graffiti (With pictures!)

Graffiti - The plural of "graffito" (honest...look it up!) is perhaps the greatest oldest and greatest medium for sharing ones personal views to the rest of the world/bathroom. Although twitter has replaced it in the digital age there are still such gems as these to be found on..say..the men's restroom wall in the Waffle Hut in Flatwoods, WV.























I can't quite tell if this was written by one person who likes Obama and so wrote his name on a bathroom wall, or someone who hates or Obama and wrote his name and then put the line through it. Or was there a second scribbler who decided to add the line through and then try to scratch out the "A". He must dislike the President AND vowels.


























The only other piece of graffito on the wall was this swastika and again I'm left wondering: Is it a man who doesn't like swastikas or simply sign in the same vein as "No smoking"?

More action, less thoughts

Last night laying in bed I sighed.

Life is a tricky little thing to master. I mean there is a lot to do with running an everyday life, paying bills, going to work, doing laundry, keeping the house tidy etc.. Add to that occasions such as Thanksgiving and Christmas and the whole Busyometer gets cranked up another notch. Not to mention if you have kids or pets or other family members living with you. Oh, and don't forget to make time for your friends and have some sort of social life that exists outside of the telemaphone and computermagig. Of course we should remember to also have our free time activities. Things we do to relax or unwind after a hard day of...well, modern life I suppose.

I sighed last night because I read a saying that "The universe rewards actions, not thought" and pondered on how very true that statement is. While I do complete a lot of actions each week just living through life, I have many more thoughts about things I could be doing. Things that I would enjoy doing but take some extra effort, time and planning to accomplish.

I sighed again just now reading a saying on a blog that basically said that "when I die I will be happy because I know I used all the talents that I was given" and I wondered if I really was using all my talents and really pushing myself to use all of my potential. In the end, I suppose, that is what separates the brilliant and noteworthy from the average and forgotten.

(Tweet version of this blog post: OMG. Just read sayins bout using ma talents LOL Am so lazzee!!!11)

Notes from a conference

Just some observations and musing about a conference I was away at this week:

1. I can't stand smarmy business guys who hang out at the hotel bar late at night, talk loudly and laugh louder, are still dressed in their work shirts and then walk around like they own the place. Give it a rest fellas and stop trying to pretend that you hang out at bars all the time and not just when you are away from the wife and kids for 3 days a year at a conference.

2. Speaking to strangers sounds better in practice than in reality. People are weird.

3. Speech Pathologists seem to be very angry people.

4. If a presenter has to read everything on their powerpoint out loud then they should reconsider presenting.

5. Free coffee and muffins should be a must.

6. Seats that are uncomfortable after 30 mins are not any more comfortable after an hour and 15 minutes.

7. Smart/Business casual does not equal "Jeans and a tee".

8. All hotels should have free wifi or at least a reasonable rate i.e. not $9.95 a day.

9. A presentation doesn't have to have humour in it. But it sure helps.

Transformers 2: Movie in disguise

If you have 2 and half hours and really enjoy large robots beating the crap out of each other then Transformers 2 is for you. It's basically 180 minutes of CGI and Shia Labeouf looking annoyed and shouting a lot.

If, however, you were actually expecting a film (i.e. plot, story, character development, themes, direction, acting) then I would save your money. You won't find any of that here.

Robbed by a New Yorker

Yesterday morning I awoke, stared bleary-eyed at my phone and checked my emails. Apparently, an apple wakes you up more than a cup of coffee in the morning. Yesterday morning an email telling me that my bank account was below the watch amount I had set up on it woke me up faster than apple flavoured coffee with a shot of red-bull. I rushed downstairs to check my account. Did I really have less than $50 in my account? Had I spent that much already this month?
My account loaded up and it turns out I DID have less than $50 in my account. Less than $20 in fact. Less than $0. I actually had $-700 in my account.
"How queer" I thought to myself mildly bemused. "Must be a banking error."

Ok. I didn't actually think that. I thought "Where the **** is my money?". Turns out I must have sleep walked to NY and spent the whole lot. I apparently sleepwalked straight into Gap Kids. Twice. Spending over $200 there. Then I decided that Staples was next. $200 there too. I must have bought a metro card too and enjoyed various other stores around the NY area.

There were two major clues that tipped me off that perhaps it wasn't me sleep walking.

1) I didn't have any of the cool baby clothes and staples products you would think I would have.
2) I had somehow managed to be in Gap Kids at the same time that I withdrew money from an atm in West Virginia.

So you can imagine I am not a happy bunny today.

What made it worse is that I had SPOKE to the bank two days ago reporting a problem with my card. "Hmm I don't see any problems sir" they told me "must just be a faulty card". A faulty card?? Your telling me! So my own bank couldn't tell that it was being used to run up hundreds of dollars in another state even though I was putting the physical card into ATMs in WV?? What a joke. And how were they able to run me into so much debt without triggering any alarm bells at my bank or declining any transaction? Depending on how it goes at the bank tomorrow will determine whether I stay with them or not.

There is one thing the bank was able to do incredibly effectively. Charge me $34 for 7 different overdrawn transactions. Thank you!

Learning a skill

Have you ever thought about how you ended up knowing how to do so many things? Do you remember learning to tie your laces for the first time? Riding a bike? Driving a car? Those were pretty tricky at first but I bet you didn't do it alone, right? I know that I didn't. In fact, I find it difficult learning new skills on my own. I do much better when I see someone else showing me what to do. Not just telling me or talking me through but actually showing me. I tend to learn the best that way and pick up the skill a lot faster.

It's probably why I am terrible at writing computer programs or flash animation. The only instruction I have had is through reading tutorials and never actually had someone explain the subtle parts that can effect the learning of all that new information. I have the motivation I just don't have the skills and the right instructor.

As we become increasingly dependent on technology I wonder for how long we will actually have human instructors for any skill. Let's take something like how to wash a car. In under 5 minutes I can find a dozen websites or slideshows or videos instructing me how to wash a car, be more efficient and get better results. There was no social interaction, no father-son/mother-son bonding that took place. Just 5 minutes of searching and 5 minutes of reading and now I know a little more about how to wash a car.

I wonder if all information will eventually end up being relayed this way. Will parents simply be caretakers rather than instructors on life skills? Telling their kids to "look it up" if the kids don't know? Or perhaps worse, told "Just pay someone else to do it for you".

Watching The Matrix I always loved that part when Neo is plugged into the machine and he learns how to fight in a million different styles. I used to think learning that way would be great. I just plug myself into my laptop and bam! I know Chinese. But in doing so I've missed out on that bond between instructor and learner. I missed out on overcoming difficulties, building on successes and gaining self-esteem from accomplishing a difficult goal. I've missed out on a lot of great and painful opportunities and taken the easy route.

My best example of this is probably learning to shave. I grew up with my mother and two brothers. My older brother wasn't likely to help me out any so I basically had to learn how to do it myself. I would watch closely and pay attention if it was featured on tv. I remember Homer showing Bart how to shave, cutting himself several times and applying small bits of tissue paper to his face. But I also just asked my friends about it. Especially those who obviously had had to start earlier than me. I would learn from their mistakes or success and then go home and improve. Growing up now I could have looked it up but is that really better in the long run?

Been a while

Yer, it's been a while so I bin a blogging. A busy schedule and just nothing I felt worthy of writing about has come to me. Probably because I've been too busy thinking about my busy schedule. Well, that and the balloon boy hoax. I've got lots of vague bloggy ideas so hopefully I can find some time to get those more concrete and posted-ed on my blog.

I think I will say is did anyone catch the Monty Python on IFC last night? It was the live at the Hollywood Bowl from 1982. Very funny stuff. It reminds me of what a sketch should actually be. Two particular golden rules are:

a) It should build to an actual ending (even if the ending is just someone flying in with a banjo and the rest of the actors running for cover).
b) It should actually be funny.

After watching SNL earlier I feel that they often completely skip golden rule a) and usually try to avoid b) as much as they can. I watch the show with Gerard Butler and thanks to a beer sponsor presented the dress rehearsal sketches from previous shows. These were actually funnier than many of the skits in the real show even if it was just because the actors themselves were laughing at the skit. Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with seeing the actors laugh.

At least one of us is enjoying it.

I caught a Bird today, oh boy

It was flying 'round in my Pet Smart.
And 'cause the bird was very small,
it had escaped them all
Down at South Charleston Mall.